i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
