you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
