Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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