My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
