I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
