im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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