That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How does one acquire holy water?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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