Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
