There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
