He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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