my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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