Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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