he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i love accidental penises.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
