I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
