I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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