So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have surprise drugs for everyone
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
