Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
