apparently the secret to your success is patron
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
