Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
