Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
