Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
