Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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