and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My dick has a subreddit
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
