R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
