I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize