At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
