Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
