well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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