I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize