Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
