i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dignity is for republicans.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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