what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
