Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
