Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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