We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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