At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
