porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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