Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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