i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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