If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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