I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
