We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
