So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
