our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
