Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
