Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Go study a dick amy that's outrageous

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

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(646): View more from New York

Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B

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(949): View more from California

At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

(714): View more from California

I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

You eat cookies in the shower?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.

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(315): View more from New York

I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.

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