it was like his penis was on wheels.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Someone came in the potted fern
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
