The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
