I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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