...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
