one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
