he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize