I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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