I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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