i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
