The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
