We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
