You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize