Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
