Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
