you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
