I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
