blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
