So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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