Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
