he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
