i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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