What did we do last night that was yellow?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
