its not stalking. its research.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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