let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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