Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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