What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
