I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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