I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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