Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
