it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
