stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
