I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
