in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
