once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
