Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
