Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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