It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
